We currently live in a world of cancel culture with high expectations to be aware and educated about social issues – expectations to be exceptionally caring and uplifting to marginalized groups. If you slip up, it could cost you your reputation.

If you’re on social media, it’s more obvious when it comes to the prevalence of cancel culture. There is always discourse that involves influencers and celebrities who have said things that harm already oppressed people. Are these individuals actually homophobic, transphobic, racist, or who knows what else, or is it something deeper?

I recently read a book that completely changed the way I thought: ‘A More Loving World’ by School of Life. I learned that it is much harder to love than to hate, and I thought about it long and hard – it is indeed harder to love than to hate.

I thought even deeper about this concept and figured out how I could love people who were so hateful. As simple and as obvious as it is, they were taught those concepts, and not everyone knows the path to deconstruct those thoughts.

We are all products of our environment. A young boy grows up in the rural countryside being raised by right-wing Christian conservatives who believe the stereotypical list of things that demographic may believe in. That young boy grows into a man and is labeled a racist, homophobe, transphobe. He might be; in fact, his beliefs are the absolute definitions of just that. But like every young boy who trusts his parents to be right and have all the answers to life questions, why would he think his beliefs are wrong?

A young girl who grows up in the city with parents who both come from generational wealth may not be taught about privilege or aware of the struggles other people endure. That young girl becomes a woman who may make tone-deaf statements on Twitter. When called out, she will always and only be remembered for the tweets she made.

Basically, the majority of us are carbon copies of our family and peers. Not everyone has the privilege to identify issues within their belief systems and to dismantle them. Society gets to label the ignorant bigots, and those labels can last a lifetime, even if those bigots turn into loving individuals who’ve deconstructed their beliefs.

No racist thinks they are racist; that goes for any belief system. When we call out that type of mentality, those individuals automatically put up a wall, and an argument ensues which creates an even bigger divide among society.

In a perfect world, the cure for hate would ultimately be love, but how do you do that? In order to critique one’s way of thinking, you must explore why they think that way, see things from their point of view. What does calling someone a racist solve? No true racist is going to self-reflect upon that accusation and change.

Once we understand that all hatred is taught, we can begin to educate in a compassionate manner. Of course, that’s easier said than done, especially coming from a white woman who isn’t experiencing racism. Trying to imagine a misogynistic man treating me like garbage, and it would be greatly difficult to enter a compassionate discussion. But once I imagine that I have that chance to understand his point of view, I have a better chance at dismantling his views.

Cancel culture and other societal expectations is deeply rooted within our society now, the beginnings of prejudices call for a nuanced approach to fostering change. Compassion and empathy is needed to deconstruct hateful belief systems. Rather than perpetuating division through labels, there is more power in compassionate education. Once we acknowledge that our environments cater to shaping our ideologies, we can then understand the next steps to dismantling those belief systems. It is a collective effort that requires empathy and commitment in order to create “a more loving world.”